"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
