Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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