I just pynch a tree in the face
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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