I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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