just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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