I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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