you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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