I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
