I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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