WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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