No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
