One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
