ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
