K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
