I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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