Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
