Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am available for nakedness
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
