dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
