I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
