So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
