Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
