he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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