Only a mothe r could love this liver
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
