She is in my trunk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
