pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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