no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
