The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
