she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sobbing to NWA
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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