Plan B is the new Plan A
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
