His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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