you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
