Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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