I'm really into asian looking animals
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
