OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
