I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
