I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
