god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
