Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
