SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
