I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
