Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize