Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
