Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He has the fingertips of a God
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