its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
