Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize