i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i out mim tonsoeep
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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