Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
