if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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