I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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