So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
sex in a hospital.. check
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
