dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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