So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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