hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
