You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
