sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
