threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
