arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
