Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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