so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
