I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
