So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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