Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
should my penis look like a turkey
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
