idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Randomize