He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize