no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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