I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
