is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
