so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
