I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
