Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
