***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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