I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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