I think I am morally bankrupt
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
