Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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