we have pet lesbian snakes
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
