return my video game
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
