New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
