wat bout pragnant strippers??
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
